Sleepy ; 50 shoulder and no Goal life

I was in a " sleepy " condition all day yesterday . In the morning I hardly can produce any slide for YPO BJ boot camp , find " third persons " showing at shin shin cinamathic , so I go before eating the big portion of " Japanese deep fried pork rib " : and yes , I falling sleep in the movie theater . 

 I am not sure my reaction to sleep cause by Chang's 50 shoulder pain killer or the cold mediation I took at the clinic ? I gal into slept at every ad window when watching " ting ting story " at home. I are a lot of bread as my dinner even though I know the corbonhygenie is worst than fat . I ate so many white bread ( refine wheat " last night .

" no my own goal " but to follow and urgent others to pursue their goal / dream in life is my biggest trouble now . I reflects it 2 days ago and realized I must set my own goal . Not to dive as a coach and keep one urge other to pursue their goal but forget as a human : I need a gold of mine...

Now this is a follow up question : what is my " big goal " in life now ? At least Meilijg do keep the " renovate " our house and redesign to what we like as her goal . When it come to me ? I don't have it ? Now I am serious about what's my buckle list ? And what can be achieved in 3 years ? 

1. A tool book ( making friend ) with all the celebrity endorse 

2. A documentary film with Steve Vai 

3. A app / radio media show 

4. TTT as sustainable product to sustain . 

 Write until now , I don't see any passion from it . I am still in trouble of finding my true north in life . It don't like where in wutai by chrismas eve - when the electic power our of work , I raised my head and see the most clear stars sky in my lift - I can't wait to be inspired , I need to find my way of inspiring myself ..

 How to ? Why ? Why ? Why ?